the battle of the Century

the battle draws near. who dares carry the polished swords?


rivers of glory - shine forth and call the golden army.

Medicine

What are you talking about?
...
Is there something I should know?
...
What are you not telling me?
...

~

That came from a boy.
Who is he?
Don't tell him.
Imagine what would happen to the kid.
Are you going to Med school?
Yes. Don't you want me to?
Are you sure you're still going to Med school?
...
Because if you are, you should know how to answer.

~

He is my boardmate.
Oh geez. Don't talk to him.
Please don't. Let her handle it first.
Let me handle it first.
I'll let her handle it first.
But if she can't, I will handle it my way.

Angels east.
Angels west.
Please do your best
to guard and watch her
while she rests.

Lord. :(

having thought of everything that has happened, i see that i love my life as it is. i do not need anyone or anything else besides that which God has given me already. i am wholly content with the things i have and with the things that i do not. i am wholly content in my God.
walking alone through a busy street, i hear only myself speaking with my God. this is the time when i can talk to You and walk with You. i don't want anyone or anything to come between us during our long walks with each other.

i love You.

paper thin.
everything is paper thin.

yes Jesus

Dear Jesus,

Hi! It's me again. Uhm. Lord? Please hear me out here. I'm really going "under."

Dear Lord, I have so many plans for my life - ah, forgive my ambitiousness. I don't know if all of them are in accordance with Your will. But I'm trying. And I say yes to You alone, Lord. Should You say no to any one of my plans, I shall follow. Above all, Lord, I know that in every situation I will encounter as I journey through life, I must consider and protect my family's opinions. I must respect them above all (except You of course :) )

Every day, Lord, You give me an opportunity to shine and be better and show the world that I am Your daughter. And every day, Lord, as it seems, I run to You in prayer - asking for guidance and grace that I so desperately need. Sometimes, I see Your response clearly. Sometimes, vaguely. Sometimes, none at all. But, Lord, I am not dismayed. I believe that that's Your way of showing me that I must face everything not behind You but rather WITH you.

And so, Jesus, I greatly thank You for all You've done and for all You are doing and for all that You will do. Lord, I do not know nor can I imagine my life should You not have been Who You are. Should You not have done what You do. Thank You, Jesus.

Great Almighty Father, I come to You in humble resignation.

Dear Jesus, I tried my best to help out my two friends. But that is all I can do for them. It's their turn to move. Dear God, please bless them in their choices. Please be with them, Lord Jesus. (PS Lord, I thank You for giving me the time, the place, and the words during our conversations. I know You did that for us. Thank You. Thank You for letting me talk to them. Thank You, Lord.)

But now, Lord, it's my turn. I need to help myself. This time, I'm the one going "under."

I have to admit, Lord, I don't know what You want to happen in my life. Who does? All I know is that what I have ahead of me is very vague - but also focused. It's ironic. I know. But, that's how it looks like to me... That's how it seems to me.

God, You give. Then You take. Then You give something better. Then You give again. Oh, Jesus, I thank You for giving me all these things despite my worthlessness. But, God... may I ask? What am I to do with all these things? What should my response be? I am sorely confused.

Dear God, I have only one prayer for tonight. Please show me what to do. Please show me what to say. Please show me what to believe.

Dear Jesus, I thank You for continually being my God. Thank You. Thank You for your graciousness and kindness. Merciful Jesus. Thank You for saving me.

Thank You, God.

Amen :)

me Sorry... why?

I accepted the offer. :D I accepted the offer... :O I ACCEPTED THE OFFER! xD

Forgive me if I had to repeat that a couple of times. :P I'm still shocked at what I did! It was a huge decision to make. But thankfully, I chose for it. Hopefully, thankfully. Haha.


Someone sent me a text message yesterday afternoon. It was just a simple Hi thing. :D But... It made me realize the that someone if slowly becoming a special someone. I wonder how I could tell that someone that. :O Haha!


Sad face. Still confused face.


I talked to one of my friends yesterday. She was having a hard time. An extremely hard time. She was even considering giving up. Shifting her course. Drastic measures jsut to escape her problems. I told her not to. That that's the worst thing she could do. That running won't solve the problem. I told her she had to be strong for herself. That no one would stand up for her besides her. That she needed to voice out her problems. That she needed to pray. That she needed to stop and think.

I'm not sure what she will do now. I told her to go home and rest first. Then decide. Hopefully I was able to convince her to fight.


God, You are my Helper. In everything. Thank You for giving me an opportunity to talk to my friend that way. Thank You because You gave me the words to tell her. Thank You because I know You won't leave her on her own. :3
Lord, even before, I have thought that someone is trying to hurt me. Backstab. Or whatnot. I have never confirmed that. But the feeling is intermittent. Right now, I feel it. Is my feeling in touch with reality? I don't know. But God... If I have hurt someone, please let me know. So that I can say sorry to them. If someone wants to hurt me, then let Your will be done.
I cherish every moment I have with You. I cherish every moment I have with my friends. I cherish every moment I have with my family. I cherish every moment I have with myself.

Thank You Jesus for saving me from my sin. :)


Love,awe,andthankfullness,
lara

choices and Right choices

Dear God,

I miss You! I feel like it's been so long since I last had a very long conversation with You... and I'm very sorry. I'm sorry because I didn't give You any time, because I haven't placed You as my top Priority. And I'm terribly sorry... because I come to You now with a problem that I have been struggling with for a long time now. I'm sorry that I'm coming to You only after that long time... I should have run to You in the first place. I should have ran and stayed in You Arms for as long as I needed. I kept ignoring my problem thinking that You would take care of it for me. I overlooked the fact that I HAVE to do MY part as well. I'm sorry, Father. And I thank You... because now that I'm ready... You're here to listen. :)

Dear Lord, I talked to my class adviser today. I told her all about my problems... with my grades, priorities, and extra-curriculars. And she helped me a lot. And I thank You for her. :) She told me that I needn't pressure myself this hard. And that the pressure will make me look old. It will make me become "baliw" too, she says. But the only solution tom y problem she says... will be found only by me. I must reflect on the matter... and I must choose.

And that I will.

Father, I am faced with 2 options: to stay as a class president or to resign and become a normal college student. But those two options are great ones. If only I could switch from one mode to the other at my discretion... but life is not that forgiving. Lord, I thank You for finally making me realize that I really do need to choose one and only one. I cannot have the best of both worlds. I thank You for my mother and adviser who have so lovingly guided me thus far. I thank You, Lord, for making all these things possible. But, dear God, I do not know what to choose. I surrender to that fact, Lord. I do not know what to choose.

I love being class president. It gives me fulfillment and satisfaction knowing that I can be a leader to my friends. That I can serve even if I'm only a mere student. But, my grades are suffering, Lord. Oh, but I do not know if my grades are low because of my presidency or plainly because I really do deserve low grades. But, Lord, it saddens me to think that maybe, just maybe, I could have raised my grades one or two points higher if I studied a little longer or a little better.

And so, my petition, Lord God. I beg of You. Please help me find the answer to my query. Lord, please... I resign to You, God. For, now I realize that there is no end to this problem besides the end found in You. Lord, I realize that I cannot run. I cannot hide. I cannot ignore the fact that I am indeed struggling.

The past opportunity You gave me to run in the student council elections was amazing, Lord. But it was also an eye-opener. Lord, just a while ago, I realized that the way You made all the alumni drop me from the slate was a blessing. 101% a blessing, God. That experience made me realize that I am not ready for all this. That I am taking this too far. That I am sacrificing everything for something small. That I am destroying my life... my life with You. And, again, that I have to choose.

Lord, thank You. Because I can rest in You. Thank You because I don't have to run very far to find You. Thank You.

I'm giving it a few days. Until the end of the week probably. Please help me decide, Lord. Whether I will accept another Class Presidency. Or better yet, the position of Level Rep next year.

Thank You, Lord. I love You so much!

Praises and glory to You, Lord... :3
Lara:)

Running and Running

i want to run the race for Jesus
i want to win the race for Jesus.

does God want me to run and win?


Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Christmas

Christmas is suppose to be about Christ. CHRISTmas. Seriously.

But I can't stop thinking about myself. Why is that?

As I opened my gifts this Christmas, I thought of Christ. And that's a good thing. But the bad thing is... I couldn't help but EXPECT that I'd be getting something extra special this year. And so... I am devastated. Disappointed. Sad. Depressed. Annoyed. Hurt. Lifeless.

I'm giving up.

I give up.

Even my studies suck.

Oh God... you're my only hope. you are my only refuge. you are my only escape. please be my hope. please be my refuge. please be my escape. please...

imcryingmynightaway. evenifitsuselessto. imcryingmynightaway. justsothaticanforgeteverything.