choices and Right choices

Dear God,

I miss You! I feel like it's been so long since I last had a very long conversation with You... and I'm very sorry. I'm sorry because I didn't give You any time, because I haven't placed You as my top Priority. And I'm terribly sorry... because I come to You now with a problem that I have been struggling with for a long time now. I'm sorry that I'm coming to You only after that long time... I should have run to You in the first place. I should have ran and stayed in You Arms for as long as I needed. I kept ignoring my problem thinking that You would take care of it for me. I overlooked the fact that I HAVE to do MY part as well. I'm sorry, Father. And I thank You... because now that I'm ready... You're here to listen. :)

Dear Lord, I talked to my class adviser today. I told her all about my problems... with my grades, priorities, and extra-curriculars. And she helped me a lot. And I thank You for her. :) She told me that I needn't pressure myself this hard. And that the pressure will make me look old. It will make me become "baliw" too, she says. But the only solution tom y problem she says... will be found only by me. I must reflect on the matter... and I must choose.

And that I will.

Father, I am faced with 2 options: to stay as a class president or to resign and become a normal college student. But those two options are great ones. If only I could switch from one mode to the other at my discretion... but life is not that forgiving. Lord, I thank You for finally making me realize that I really do need to choose one and only one. I cannot have the best of both worlds. I thank You for my mother and adviser who have so lovingly guided me thus far. I thank You, Lord, for making all these things possible. But, dear God, I do not know what to choose. I surrender to that fact, Lord. I do not know what to choose.

I love being class president. It gives me fulfillment and satisfaction knowing that I can be a leader to my friends. That I can serve even if I'm only a mere student. But, my grades are suffering, Lord. Oh, but I do not know if my grades are low because of my presidency or plainly because I really do deserve low grades. But, Lord, it saddens me to think that maybe, just maybe, I could have raised my grades one or two points higher if I studied a little longer or a little better.

And so, my petition, Lord God. I beg of You. Please help me find the answer to my query. Lord, please... I resign to You, God. For, now I realize that there is no end to this problem besides the end found in You. Lord, I realize that I cannot run. I cannot hide. I cannot ignore the fact that I am indeed struggling.

The past opportunity You gave me to run in the student council elections was amazing, Lord. But it was also an eye-opener. Lord, just a while ago, I realized that the way You made all the alumni drop me from the slate was a blessing. 101% a blessing, God. That experience made me realize that I am not ready for all this. That I am taking this too far. That I am sacrificing everything for something small. That I am destroying my life... my life with You. And, again, that I have to choose.

Lord, thank You. Because I can rest in You. Thank You because I don't have to run very far to find You. Thank You.

I'm giving it a few days. Until the end of the week probably. Please help me decide, Lord. Whether I will accept another Class Presidency. Or better yet, the position of Level Rep next year.

Thank You, Lord. I love You so much!

Praises and glory to You, Lord... :3
Lara:)