July

Examination week is this week.
Welcome to the month of July.

Heads up, people.
I last left off when it was the day before enrollment. I come back now, when it's 3 days before our first major examination.
A lot of things have happened. And I mean A LOT.

I became president of the class. WOW! And I really do not know why. It's annoying but at the same time elating. I feel blessed and at the same time pressured. Why would God give me a responsibility like this? Does it mean that He knows I can do this? Or is He just testing me? To see if I can hang on to Him when the world is saying "you can do this on your own"? But everything aside, it is really humbling. A great deal. I can't do everything. That's what's humbling. I learn to delegate. Because I'd be dead by now if I didn't know how. ;) I learn to be patient. Because I'd have given up by now if I didn't know how. I learn to be selfless. Because I'd be ousted by now if I didn't know how. I learn to serve. Because I long had killed myself if I didn't know how.

But, then, my status upgrade isn't that elating as I thought it could be.

I broke down yesterday. Not knowing what to do. Not knowing what to say. Not knowing what to feel. Maybe all the pressure got to me. Pressure from the class. Pressure from the title. Pressure from the responsibility. But most of all, pressure from me.
I couldn't do anything. Pathetic, I know. But all I could do was cry. And so I did. The tears just kept flowing down my cheeks. And God, how I prayed to You to tell me what was wrong. I was clueless. Desperate. Dying.

But I think I'm okay now. Could be better. But, hey, I'm not the president of a country. (Thank you, Lord!)

Take care, people. Don't follow my steps yet. I'm still stumbling. Please pray for me. I need to know how to watch my step. God, please bless me. :)