bold and Confident

something about plain, bold-colored clothes has been revealed to me today. as i saw a lady wearing a freely flowing lime green silk gown taking the escalator to a higher floor, i saw how all her body's curves and assets were so easily seen - so easily flaunted. then it hit me: no wonder i don't prefer single toned shirts or dresses; they show every corner of one's body. whew. something i would never want to flaunt ( because one, i don't have anything to flaunt; and two, even if i did, it's not something to flaunt [in my opinion, of course]).

besides, boldly colored clothes only say one thing: look at me, i'm confident of myself and my body! woo~! haha! and yeah, you guessed it, i'm not.

bah, other matters are at hand. :D

so anyway:

i've still got that inferiority complex hanging around me. :O surprising? not. haha!

despite the fact that i fancy myself looking to God for acceptance and second-the-motions, i find myself looking for the okay signs of friends and acquaintances as well. though i do have opinions and ideas of my own, i still look for and consider other's inputs more than my own. while sometimes i think that its just normal (and, in fact, good) that i esteem the ideas of others better than mine, sometimes i feel i go overboard and esteem others (their being) OVERLY BETTER than me. 10000x better.

yeah, that, basically, is who i am.

but my mother says i'm a proud person. and i agree. so i wonder when the above stated circumstances occur when i am, in fact, a proud person.

woo~!