sad, pathetic, and Worthless

i'm a sad, pathetic, worthless liar... and i think i need help :O

i elude myself. and, in so doing, i elude others. but most of the time, i aim to elude only myself. it's purpose is simple too. so that i can escape the problems that i have. so that i can escape the realities even for a moment.

but the sad thing is... my problems run after me. reality is always a nuisance...

and i cry away every time they catch me wishing my tears would wash everything away...

and then i see myself standing at a crossroad not knowing which road to take, not knowing where each road could take me...

I Can Only Imagine lyrics

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you

I can only imagine

Lord... You know what? I don't know what to pray for anymore... I'm sorry for being evil... I beg of You... Though I know You would... Please still love me.

Love,
A sad, pathetic, and worthless me.