And there was a bear,,,

what if God buzzed you?

God: Hello. Did you call me?

You: Called you? No, who is this?

God: This is God. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat
with you right now.

You: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in
the midst of something.

God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy, too.

You: I don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic.
It's rush hour all the time.

God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

You: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not
expecting you to call me today.

God: Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity.
In this mobile phone era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are
comfortable with.

You: Tell me , why has life become complicated now?

God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

You: Why are we then constantly unhappy?

God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are
worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.

You: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

You: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty.

God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

You: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.

You: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.

You: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from
problems?

God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks, Offering Beneficial Lessons to Enhance
Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

You: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading.

God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside.
Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight.
Heart provides insight.

You: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?

God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

You: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

You: What surprises you about people?

God: When they suffer they ask, "Why me?" When they prosper, they never ask
"Why me?" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

You: Sometimes I ask, "Who am I? Why am I here?" I can't get the answer.

God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

You: How can I get the best out of life?

God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear.

You: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times, the answer is NO.

You: Thank you for this wonderful conversation.

God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and
doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

Smiling.

Sometimes, it's easier to smile and pretend everything's ok.

Sometimes, it's just so easier to smile.




Most of the time, it's easier to pretend and make-believe.

Lara: Grandmother @19

Lara's
gonna
be
a
GRANDMOTHER
soon!

And
she'll
have
lots
of


...


...


...





YeaaY!
:D

Mano Po

Today, I met 2 Ninongs (Godfathers) plus 3 friends of my parents. All in the OR. All in the second to the last day of my OR shift. Sigh, this makes me want it so much more! :)

To start the day was Skills Lab class. While waiting for my classroom to open, I met Mrs. Garcia. And she blessed me! Wee!! :D Gosh, no wonder I had such a wonderful day! So Ninang-ninangan na. :P

Next up, I met Dr. Joanna Ronquillo and Dr. Yvette Go, both anesthesiologist friends of my mother. And yes, they were kulit. Haha!

Then I met my Ninong, Dr. Alberto Paulino, II. Haha, now, this is a funny experience. Ninong was walking towards me and I waved and said, "Hi Ninong! Mano po. :D" Then he said, "Uy! Ikaw pala 'yan! Wala kang case?" "Wala po eh" with simultaneous blessing his hand. Here's the funny part! Apparently, some staff nurses heard me say "Mano po." And they said, "Hahaha, mano po daw o!" Haha! And they kept laughing. I don't really know why.

Anyway, next I met Dr. Christian Doctor. Another anesthesiologist friend of my mother. He was also kulit. Haha.

Last up, I met and made bless-bless Dr. David Bolong. Haha. He had a nephrolithotomy earlier today. He said "Ay, 'di kita namukhaan. Anong year ka na pala?" And a short small talk ensued.

Fun fun day. I love it! Why does this shift have to come to an end? Just when everything's starting to bloom so much! Sigh..

BTW, Sir Aldrin Basaysay. He is so kulit too! Haha. He made me divulge what I got from Ninong Dave for Christmas. LOL. Haha. It was for a good cause though. If I didn't, he wouldn't give me the suture packaging for Anna's preference cards. Haha!

Dear God, please bless all the staff and doctors of the USTH.
I love them all so much! :D
Thank you for the experience and opportunity you've blessed me with.
I love it and I will cherish it for as long as I live! :)

A Sunday Morning Dream

'Uy, may case ka na, sabi ni Ma’am. Scrub na!’

But I just got here! Gosh!

I enter the room with my hands up and grab a green gown. No one has their gowns on yet. Ma’am CI (It’s positively NOT Ma’am Manzarate.) is in the room with me now.

I put my gown on. I see my gloves - 6 ½. With my hand still inside my gown I grab the right glove by the cuff. I try to don my glove. What the? Disposables? I struggle.

Ma’am came near so I had to turn to the other side so she wouldn’t see that I was struggling. My right hand came out of the gown. I pulled on my sleeve using my left and ungowned or ungloved hand. I’m officially unsterile now.

I manage to get my right hand gloved. What the heck? Di pa ako nagscscrub ah! Gah! Then my left. With a little less struggling. Then, when I hold my hands high, I notice that my gloves have rips all over. I need a new pair. Sheesh.

My circulating student nurse looks like Alyssa Habaluyas, a classmate from Sec 1-10.
‘Alyssa, pakuha naman ako ng 6 ½. Alam mo naman saan diba?’
‘Uh… oo.’
‘Ok, pabilisan ah.’
Then she’s gone. She came back successful.

‘Pabuksan nalang yung paper.’
‘Ganyan lang.’
And I got the left glove.
And she grabbed the right without care of the word sterile.
‘WAH! What did you do?!’

Then I went to Ma’am CI.
‘Ma’am! Impossible po circulating ko. Pwede po pachange?’
‘No, you make that work.’
Okaay… Then I turn to Alyssa. She’s heartbroken. I think she heard me. And I follow her running to the instruments room.

‘Ok look. Look at me!’ I grab her face to make her look. I’m totally unsterile now.

‘It’s not you ok. Basta, we need to focus. Now, get those gloves. Ok good. Let’s go back na.’

Suddenly, there’s a hoard of people at the window of our OR suite. But I managed to get in. Inside I saw that the operation was mid-way already.

I wait anxiously for Alyssa to appear from the crowd. Nada. Oh! There she is! Hurry up, I plead. Nada. What’s taking her?!

Somehow, my patient is taken from the room and I’m still waiting for my gloves. The crowd disappears and so does Alyssa. Sam is beside me studying a book.
‘Ano nangyari sa pasyente ko?’
‘Huh? Di ko alam. Sorry.’

Oh my crap. What the heck just happened. I have to find that patient!
And I walk outside. Nada.

I remember something about the PACU being on the 2nd floor above the OR so I go up. And I see a familiar site of elevators and more elevators labeled out-patient and in-patient. I’ve seen this in another dream before. I didn’t know if I should enter it. I’m still wearing my green gown by the way.

A bunch of people come up the 2nd floor using the same escalator as I did. They chatter. And they enter the room labeled ‘Family and Friends.’ I get to peek inside and I see lots of ‘pan-to’s’ and just a few people. It was like they were ready to have party.

I turn to the right. That was the only way left to go. From a far, I see restaurants and a game center much like Timezone. I turn right again and I see huge escalators. As in 3-4 floor escalators.

And then I see Mimi standing behind the railings. BEHIND the railings of an escalator.

‘Anong ginagawa mo diyan? Baka mahulog ka!’
‘Ah hindi, wala. May inaabangan kasi ako.’
‘Sino?’
‘Uh basta.’
‘?’
‘Sige na nga lalabas na.’
And she got out.
‘Kasi ganito yun’ she blurted and grabbed my arm. We started walking towards the PACU.

‘Uy Mimi!’ It was a friend of hers, male, and a lot more following him, 4-5 I think. All male.

‘Nako, sila na nga yan.’

‘Ah kayo pala ah,’ I said, ‘kayo kasi eh kayo kasi [kaya nasa dangerous na lugar si Mimi kanina!]’ Simultaneously I spanked everyone’s shoulders. I think I sort of forgot that I still hadn’t taken my gown off. From my side vision, I notice another one of the boys coming up from the nearby escalator.
Then I turn towards him and said, ‘Sino pa ba di ko napapalo?’
No one replies.
‘Sige na nga ok na yan. Baka madoble pa.’
And I go back to Mimi.

Then I wake up.

Weird dream. Yet so vivid. :|
This is what I get for thinking about the OR so much. :|

Lara Loves the Operating Room

OH GOD. SHUCKS.

I'm so in love with the OR. 5 weeks go by in a flash. Literally. I wish I could convert all of my duty days into OR duty days. :|
"If I could have my duty at the OR forever, I'd be more than happy to make an NCA inclusive of 7 NCPs for every single case. Minor and major."

Photo by Lara Lim

I love green.
I love Kelly's.
I love Baktolin.
I love OR Suite 7.
I love the wash area.
I love getting the basin.
I love washing instruments.
I love Ochsner.
I love Balfour.
I love lapsheets.
I love 2\3's.
I love the staaaff!

Wah. I'm so going to miss the OR.

If I could only live and die in the OR... Oh God.

Shucks, separation anxiety is such a drag.